


Panda + peacock = otters

by spymaster



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Roommates, Secret Crush, inner thoughts, it's quite different from how I usually write, like a lot, these two are idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 20:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17168651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spymaster/pseuds/spymaster
Summary: Kara and Lena were roommates. What more can I say?





	Panda + peacock = otters

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I write something new again. It feels like I'm writing the first fic haha.
> 
> I hope you guys will enjoy the new Kara and Lena in this story.
> 
> All the mistakes are mine. I'm going to check for grammar and typos after posting.

**_(week 12)_ **

 

“How is your new apartment?”

 

Kara groaned when she heard the question from Alex. They were both sitting at Noonan’s for brunch in a warm Sunday morning when the subject about personal life came up. Kara didn’t want to ruin her sisterhood quality time but the low sound she made when Alex turned the wheel to that subject ruined her plan.

 

Her sister caught the reaction and chuckled, “What? I thought you liked the place.”

 

Fighting back a pout but settling with a frown, Kara answered, “The place I like, but not the person…”

 

Alex let out a knowing ‘ah’. “Your roommate. What’s wrong about her? She seems nice.”

 

“I thought she was nice too,” Kara sighed, leaning against the chair. “That’s why I picked the apartment. But Alex, she’s the _worst_!”

 

Alex laughed, tapping gently on Kara’s shoulder, “Come on, tell me what happened.”

 

Like given permission, Kara poured out all of the frustration that had been building up in the last three months living with the horrible roommate with the fancy name of Lena Luthor. She remembered how polite and gentle Lena used to be when she first came to take a look at the apartment. Lena had put up an ad, looking for a roommate for her apartment with a soft price because according to Lena, a place like that was too big for her to use and she needed someone to help her with the monthly charge.

 

Catching such an opportunity like that, Kara could never pass. She was so happy that she finally found a place in National City that was close enough to CatCo but not too expensive. Lena even agreed to sign a contract of one year. Everything seemed so dandy and perfect.

 

Until Lena started complaining about the way Kara stripped off her socks and stuck between the bed frame and the mattress. It had always been how Kara organized her socks, and she had never received a complaint before. Not just that, Lena hated the smell of meat. Legit _hated_ it. Kara had been so surprised when Lena told her that and she supposed it was just the matter of taste, but the black-haired roommate stood up to leave the apartment when Kara made bacon on her first morning there. She was just trying to make something nice for Lena as the beginning of their roommate-ship but apparently it was suffocating Lena.

 

Kara tried again, though.

 

She bought Lena coffee in a few mornings, but the girl always declined and headed off to work. Kara tried buying cakes for Lena too, but again, her roommate refused to eat with a very stern face. It was just so hard.

 

Lena was Kara’s first roommate who was a complete stranger, so she thought it was like with every other person, but Lena was strict in the way that made Kara feel her freedom trapped.

 

“I can’t continue living with her!” Kara concluded after an hour listing out everything annoying about Lena to Alex. “I have to move out and find another place to stay.”

 

Her sister gave an understanding smile. “It’s not the end of the world. According to what you just told me, the biggest problem is that you two have such two different personalities.”

 

“I’ve lived with other people before, and they had different personalities too!” Kara whined, crossing her arms, “This Lena is just being difficult. She said I was a mess. Can you believe that?” Instead of the expected disbelief, Kara found the guilty glance in Alex’s eyes. “Holy crap, you believe her?”

 

“Well, you can’t say you’re the most organized person in the world,” Alex shrugged.

 

Kara frowned, “You have been my roommate since secondary school. How was I? Was I disorganized?”

 

Alex narrowed her eyes, lips twisting aside as if she was avoiding to answer. “Do you want me to be honest?”

 

Kara gasped in shock. “I can’t believe this! How big of a mess was I?”

 

“Let’s just say that I love you too much to call you out on it.”

 

Kara’s jaw dropped under Noonan’s roof. Her illusion of being the cool roommate that everyone wanted to have shattered in front of her eyes. Kara called all of her previous roommates, from the college one to the friend she used to have sleepovers at a few times. All of them bounced around, refusing to give her a straight answer whether or not she was disorganized. It was telling enough and at the end of the brunch, Kara Danvers discovered a painful truth about herself that would explain a lot about her roommate’s attitude.

 

____________________

 

**_(week 13)_ **

 

Lena stood in front of the apartment door for a full minute, not knowing whether to open it or not. She wondered what kind of crap her roommate was pulling inside behind this wooden piece and she really didn’t want to know. After a long day of constant meetings, all Lena wanted was throwing herself onto the bed and sleeping. She could have done that if she was living alone.

 

Unfortunately, she wasn’t.

 

Living on your own was not an easy task, especially when suddenly the bills were your duty to pay. But life went on. Lena didn’t want to stay with Lillian for too long because her mother worried too much about Lex and her, it sometimes became suffocating.

 

Leaving the worrying mother behind in Metropolis, Lena came to National City to work for Teschmacher Corp as an account manager. Lex had been working there as Miss Teschmacher’s architect for years and he introduced Lena in. The work wasn’t too much for Lena, but the load of everyday task really knew how to stress her.

 

The payment was well, though, but still couldn’t cover up her entire rent. Lena had spent all of her savings, including the Christmas presents budget, into helping her mother save the restaurant after the bank threatened to shut it down. It struck a big damage at Lena’s plan to buy a car. She would still be able to get one if the rent was less heavy. Probably that was why she hurried to welcome Kara _Messy_ Danvers into her home with open arms.

 

Lena had never had roommates before, but she didn’t think much about it. Kara seemed nice and friendly, which easily erased Lena’s initial worry that Kara would be tricky to live with. None of her senses had alerted her how big of a mess the girl with the lovely grin would be.

 

The first morning already gave away Kara’s tendency to mishear everything Lena had said before. She told the blonde specifically that she couldn’t stand the smell of meat but then Kara still proceeded to make bacon the morning after. If Lena hadn’t seen the shock on her new roommate’s face, she would have thought Kara did it on purpose.

 

The apologetic grin was making sure that Kara wasn’t that malicious. Still, that smile couldn’t stop Lena from wincing at some of the weird things Kara did.

 

Kara wore a new pair of socks everyday. That wasn’t a problem at all. But her roommate seemed to think it was illogical to put the used socks into the wash machine after using. Lena remembered how her jaw dropped when she saw the colorful socks sticking out from under Kara’s mattress like the tongues of the Mess Monster mocking her. She had thought that the blonde had forgotten about them, which was still gross, but at least Kara didn’t intend to be gross.

 

_“Oh, I put them there. To memorize.”_

 

Lena was said to be quite smart but not even she could get what in the world would need a colorful-sock-system to memorize. She didn’t want to find out, to be honest, because the feeling of signing the contract too soon with someone she would hate to be around with was running up to her spines. Lena didn’t want to find out that she had made the wrong decision.

 

Sighing, Lena pushed the handle and walked in. She expected to find something dropped on the floor like everytime she came home to find. Instead of that, Lena saw that the shoes were set aside, neat and in order. On the rack, Kara’s keys were there. That meant the blonde was at home. But neither of her shoes was lying around like every other day.

 

Strange.

 

Lena hung her jacket up and walked in after taking off the boots. The smell of food came into her nostrils. The first reaction was running away, but then Lena realized it was a rather gentle smell so she continued to walk in.

 

Kara was standing in the kitchen, one hand holding the spoon, stirring something inside the pot. Her other hand propped on her hips, making a waiting pose. Looking to the side, Lena saw that the window was open.

 

“Hey,” she greeted.

 

Kara looked over her shoulder, smiled. “You’re back late today. How was your trip? Exhausting?”

 

“Yeah, it was...” Lena paused because she realized it was the first time Kara ever asked about her day. “It was exhausting, yes.”

 

It was certainly a change of attitude. She didn’t expect that after the Saturday morning, when she complained about Kara’s books on the floor and the blonde went off on her for being a _‘clean freak’_. Lena didn’t come back last weekend because she went back to Metropolis to visit her mother, and conveniently got away from the usual argument with Kara about personal lifestyles. She dropped by home late in the morning to change her clothes and then went right back to work. They hadn’t talked after that Saturday morning until now and Kara suddenly seemed so fine.

 

_Did something happen to her?_

 

“Take a shower. I know you’re dying to do that,” Kara teased, laughing joyfully. “I made dinner.”

 

“Good for you,” Lena said, walking to her bed.

 

“For the both of us.”

 

Lena turned around to face Kara when she heard the added information. “Excuse me?”

 

Kara gestured the pot. “I made dinner for the both of us. And before you decline - I know you’re going to do that - please consider this as an apology for what I said that morning.” The blonde’s cheeks turned pink a little. “I shouldn’t have called you a ‘clean freak’.”

 

“But you did,” Lena crossed her arms. In her head, she was considering agreeing on the offer because she was so hungry at the moment. “It’s alright. I forget about it.”

 

“Still. It was very rude of me and it was my fault for leaving things around.” Kara sighed and scratched her neck, “I feel really bad for saying those things. I will try not to irritate you so much. Please don’t kick me out. And accept my apology.”

 

Lena almost smiled at that. Technically, Lena could not kick Kara out, but the fact that the blonde took it as a rational and possible loss made Lena’s eyes melt a bit. “I can’t do that.”

 

Kara’s face twisted a bit. “Oh… I guess I did hurt you a lot with that word. I’m really sorry.”

 

“No, not that.” Lena raised a hand, explaining, “I mean that I can’t kick you out. About the apology, I think it’d be a waste if you cook for me and I don’t eat it.”

 

A grin spread on Kara’s lips, brightening her face. “You would eat with me? Okay. Of course! Take a shower and the food will be ready when you’re done.”

 

Lena wanted to huff out a chuckle, but she didn’t let Kara see it so she only relaxed her mouth after walking into the bathroom. She had no idea what had affected Kara but if the blonde was willing to be a little tidy, that was all she needed for the moment.

 

_________________

 

**_(week 13)_ **

 

It was nice.

 

After living as roommates for three months, this was the first time Kara ever had a meal with Lena. In fact, Kara had never seen Lena have a meal at home. Lena never cooked, and she always ordered things. Kara had noticed how the fridge barely had any fresh ingredient when she first moved here. At the beginning, she thought that Lena was very busy, and it was true, but even on weekends, Lena didn’t even try to shake up her food a little.

 

Maybe that was the reason why Lena had so many problems with Kara cooking all the time. Not just with meat, but mostly everything else. Kara had invited her to join a mini grill party on the balcony but the brunette always turned it down. Lena would rather stay up to work than spending time to bond with Kara.

 

Eventually, Kara stopped asking. Lena’s complaints got on her nerves every morning and Kara had lost the patience to squeeze a smile out of Lena. She hated the way Lena talked about how she left things _on her side_ of the bedroom. The apartment was large and their mattress were on two seperate sides of it, yet Lena always caught something annoying on Kara’s side and told her about it.

 

Kara thought she was going insane. She didn’t want to argue with anyone, but Lena was being too much.

 

Well, that was true until Kara found out that she was a disgusting mess but nobody said anything just because they didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

 

It was a good thing that Lena didn’t like her enough to care about her feelings. And for that, Kara felt like she had owed Lena a _thank you_. She wouldn’t admit being a grown-up who couldn’t even be organized to save her life to Lena, though, but she would show this with actions.

 

The dinner was just the first step to rebuild the companionship.

 

“I’m sorry, too,” Lena said from the other side of the table when they were about to finish their meals. “You have your own lifestyle. I shouldn’t have interfered too much like that.”

 

Kara swallowed the spaghetti and waved her fork a little. “That’s fine. I bet you have to hold back from calling me a pig for so many times.”

 

Lena chuckled softly. The rare sound surprised Kara. She didn’t expect the cranky Lena Luthor to laugh so tenderly and she was even more surprised that for a second, her heart paused. “I would never call you a pig. Not out loud, at least.”

 

“Ouch,” Kara replied with a fake wince, “I deserve that.”

 

Lena took the napkin to dab her mouth and said, “The dinner was really good. Thank you.” The girl stood up and brought the plate to the sink. “I’ll wash the dishes. You can go take a shower.”

 

Kara found an opportunity to joke so she gasped, “But I did take a shower. Holy shit, do I stink that bad?” She pretended to sniff her arm.

 

Lena shook her head, puzzled. “That’s not what I meant. I was just offering to wash the dishes. I didn’t mean to say you stink or anything.”

 

Kara grinned devilishly. “It’s fine. I’m just messing with you.”

 

Lena arched an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Very funny.”

 

Kara stood up to clean the table. “Come on, relax. We can be good with each other, right? We’re roommates. Scratch those horrible three months. We’re doing this again.”

 

Lena tilted her head, seemingly doing some thinking. Finally, she shrugged, “Sure. We need some rules.” She turned around and turned the faucet on. “To make it easier for you and me, we just have to follow those rules.”

 

Kara’s hands quickly joined in the sink and helped Lena with rinsing the plates. It was a bit odd that it was the first time they ever did something together but everything seemed natural and familiar. “That makes perfect sense. What’s rule number one?”

 

“Keep your stuff to your side of the room,” Lena said with the knowing look.

 

Kara knew Lena was talking about the time when Kara was so bored, she folded mini paper planes and flew them around the apartment. It happened while Lena wasn’t home, and Kara had collected all of the planes before her roommate returned. Apparently, not _all_ of them had been gathered. Lena strode toward Kara’s bed in the middle of the night and dropped the plane on Kara’s face.

 

“I will do that. What else?”

 

“Start using slippers indoor.”

 

“But I wear socks already,” Kara bargained, “wearing slippers is too hot for me.”

 

“Your hair falls everywhere. I can’t stand it when I walk in the apartment barefoot and catch on it. Just use slippers or keep the floor clean. I will use slippers too.”

 

It was a reasonable request, Kara admitted to herself. She had a bad hair fall case and it annoyed her so much that she never let her hair down except during sleeping. “Alright, so either wearing slippers _or_ keeping the house clean.”

 

The agreement lit up Lena’s face and she proceeded to list out the things that she wanted Kara to pay attention to, like the lights, cooking time, laundry duty,... At the end of the night, they had both made quite a list for the house rules. Kara made a copy and glued it on her closet so that she wouldn’t forget anything.

 

When she went to bed that night, Lena was still reading something on her bed. Usually, they didn’t speak to each other in the unspoken rule of Night Time Privacy after dinner. But today was different. Today was the beginning of their peace. Kara felt like she should say something.

 

“What are you reading?” she asked. At first, Lena looked up and tilted her head as if she was wondering if Kara was talking to her. “Yes, I’m asking you. You read every night. What are you reading?”

 

Lena jerked the book to the side a little. “Just something my brother gave me on my birthday.” She flipped to read the cover. “ _‘The Art of Number’_. By Mercy Graves.”

 

Kara chuckled, propping up her body with an elbow. “Mercy Graves? That’s a deadly name.”

 

Lena shrugged, “She’s my brother’s favorite author.” In the fair light of the lamp, suddenly the way Lena’s hair parted on her shoulders looked so soft and approachable. Kara never noticed that. Lena was a beautiful girl, of course that was what Kara acknowledged since the start.

 

“Who’s your favorite author?” Kara asked again, intrigued.

 

Lena gave her a curious look, “Julia Freeman.” An amused gaze flashed through her almost smile. “Yours?”

 

“I don’t read books,” Kara answered honestly, “but I do read comics. Grace Park has some of the coolest thriller comics.”

 

The almost smile curved up into a real smile. “I don’t see any comic books on your side of the room.”

 

“Digital comics,” Kara added, “I don’t have the space for the actual comics. Or the time to sort them out.”

 

Lena arched an eyebrow. “I’m not surprised. You don’t even have time to fold the blanket every morning.”

 

Kara bolted up right away and craned her neck to look at the rule list, then turned back at Lena. “Uh oh, you violated Rule Eight: Don’t criticize the other person’s lifestyle.”

 

“I’m not talking about your lifestyle. I’m talking about your…” Lena paused, seemingly thinking of a word, “...decorating skills.”

 

Kara chuckled, not offended, “My decorating skills, yeah right. Not folding the blanket isn’t something about decoration. Just admit that you violated the house rule, Missy.”

 

Lena only grinned sheepishly. “You got me.” She stood up, setting the book aside and grabbed her wallet to pulled out a dollar and put it in the empty jar that they had put on the top counter. It was agreed that whenever a rule was violated, a dollar would be contributed to the jar. “Happy? I bet you’ll put money into this jar more than me.”

 

“Well I haven’t broken the rules. Unlike _somebody_ …” Kara snickered triumphantly.

 

Lena rolled her eyes, slightly shaking her head and returning to the bed. “I’ll get back at you soon, Kara Danvers.”

 

Still smiling, Kara curled back into under her blanket, watching as Lena did the same. Her chest was pumping with a new excitement. She didn’t know why their little interaction made her so happy, but she didn’t care. “Good night, Lena Luthor,” she said with glee.

 

Lena reached to turn off the lamp, making the entire apartment drown in darkness, except for the tiny night lamp at the end of Kara’s bed. When Kara thought that Lena wouldn’t reply with anything, she heard a clear voice echo to her direction.

 

“Good night to you too, roommate.”

 

That night, Kara went to sleep with a quicker heartbeat and a smile waiting on her lips.

 

_________________________

 

**_(week 16)_ **

 

Kara heard the ruffle from the other side of the bed and knew that Lena had woken up. It had been a few weeks since they started the house rule. Everything was less stressful for Kara. Without Lena’s constant nagging, Kara didn’t feel like she was living in a boarding school. In the exchange of that, she had paid more attention to the things that she put on the ground. Her backpack and magazines were all on the shelf. Her shoes were in their places. She always wore the slippers indoors. The windows were always open when she cooked.

 

Without the reasons to be strict, Lena seemed to relax, too. And it gave Kara a solid calm feeling around a quiet and sometimes quirky Lena. Who knew that Lena was a rather romantic soul? She had a lot of candles, stacking up in the drawers in the kitchen. And she had a small cactus that she named Fern for some reason. Lena also had a thing for thriller and crime, which was clear from the books she owned.

 

Kara wouldn’t be able to know that if they never had such a nice time in the apartment without being in the state of getting ready to argue. It surprised her how much she liked hearing the sound of Lena’s presence around while she was on the computer, typing an article for CatCo.

 

Lena didn’t cook, but she drank tea a lot. And whenever she made a cup, she always asked if Kara wanted some too. She had never done that before their peace pact. Compromising really did help them both.

 

And Kara realized something else too.

 

It was easy to be around Lena.

 

When Kara was watching Netflix from her phone and laughed out loud at something, she always looked at Lena to see if her roommate was bothered by it. Lena always met her eyes right after with a knowing look. She even mouthed back _‘It’s okay’_ and returned to her work.

 

Lena didn’t like the lights on when she slept, but she never told Kara to turn off everything if she was to go to bed early. It wasn’t something she only did after the house rules but only now Kara noticed.

 

It made Kara feel bad because she didn’t pay attention enough to make it easier for Lena. She had been so selfish and maybe that was the reason Lena had to nag her. Now, the nagging was no more, Kara should make it up to Lena.

 

“You’re up early for a Sunday morning,” Kara greeted as the brunette sat on the edge of her bed, still yawning. She admired how Lena always had amazing bed hair. It was fluffy in the morning, making her look even softer.

 

“Yeah, I went to bed early last night.” Lena stretched herself in the hoodie. “How do you get up _and_ make breakfast every morning?”

 

Kara laughed, beating the eggs in a bowl. “I have to eat something in the morning, or else I’d get a horrible headache and I wouldn’t be able to stand.” She raised the whisker up. “Scrambled eggs?” Kara added before Lena even opened her mouth, “No bacon. Just eggs.”

 

Lena smiled knowingly and nodded. “Thank you. Then I’ll make you coffee.”

 

Kara’s eyebrows rose as she watched Lena walked to the coffee machine. “I thought you hated coffee.”

 

“I hate drinking coffee, yes, but I don’t dislike making it or its smell.” Lena grabbed two cups from the kitchen counter and set on the surface. “I’m kinda glad that you live here because the apartment always has the coffee scent floating. Smelling the coffee while working is one of the things I like to do, which is why I usually come to coffee shop with my laptop...”

 

Kara had a smile on when she listened. Lena normally didn’t talk much, so whenever the brunette caught on a ramble spree, Kara always let her. It happened a lot lately. And it was quite weird. It had only been three weeks since their peacemaker deal, but apparently both of them had somehow accepted each other as roommate for real this time.

 

“...Sorry, I went on and on.” Lena said at the end with a fair blush on her cheeks. She took the milk from the fridge and asked, “How much milk do you like?”

 

“Just pour in until it’s almost full,” Kara lifted the plates with scrambled egg and set on the table. “I don’t drink strong coffee.”

 

They sat down, across from each other, and ate breakfast. The morning was tender and Kara loved the thick smell of coffee mixed with the fair touch of daisy tea. Lena ate slowly but surely. Every bite of her seemed to gracious. It was the opposite of how Kara ate. Being easily distracted, Kara usually had to eat quick before something caught her attention and the meal time would drag out till forever.

 

There were so many things they did that screamed contrast. Just look at their wardrobe. Lena only had black, green, brown, and dark blue clothes while Kara owned many colorful and vibrant clothes. They never got mixed up and mistook the other person’s clothes for theirs. Even with shoes. Kara had variety of footwear from sandals to boots and even a pair of heels that she rarely used. Lena stuck with mostly sneakers and simple running shoes.

 

It made Kara wonder sometimes. What would it be like to see Lena in Kara’s style?

 

The question came up in her mind more frequently and suddenly, when Kara was sitting on the couch to watch Wonder Woman with Lena one night, she realized that she wondered so because she wanted to see Lena in _her_ clothes.

 

It startled Kara a little. She didn’t want to be attracted to Lena in any way. The difference between them clearly alerted her that Lena wouldn’t think of her the same. Ever.

 

_Ouch._

 

It shouldn’t hurt, should it?

 

Still, Kara found herself moving the usual ironing clothes time to the weekend morning just because Lena always did the exercise at home. Lena went to the gym before, but it was too snowy outside recently and now she did it at home.

 

Kara also found herself ironing the clothes a little slower so she would be able to witness Lena pushing up herself from the yoga matt to stand and springing in the air. She wasn’t being a creep, of course, and she didn’t try to look. Lena’s grunts were just very suggesting.

 

Maybe Lena was a little more attractive than Kara expected.

 

____________

 

**_(week 19)_ **

 

Lena looked at Kara right away when she heard the sound the blonde made. Kara was hopping with her left hand waving crazily in the air. Lena rushed up to Kara and found that the iron was still on. She quickly pulled it away from the shirt Kara was ironing and unplugged the device.

 

“Are you okay?” she asked the blonde, who was hissing in pain. “Did you get burned? Where is it?” She grabbed Kara’s upper arm and pulled her to the sink. Twisting the faucet on, Lena pushed up Kara’s sleeve and let the burnt area under the stream. “Is it better?”

 

Kara winced a smile, “Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry. I should have been careful.”

 

Lena let out a worried sigh, “You should have. The iron is a dangerous tool.”

 

Kara half-rolled her eyes, “I know that. I’ll pay attention next time.”

 

Lena turned off the faucet and pointed to a chair, “You sit down. I’ll get something for this burn.” She went to her personal medical kit and took out a small tube. It was something her mother gave her before going to the city but Lena had never had the chance to use it. She was always careful.

 

Kara was blowing on the burnt palm when Lena approached. She sat down and squeezed a little gel onto the tip of her finger and held Kara’s hand still.

 

“Don’t be afraid. This gel would cool the burn right away,” Lena explained as she gently rubbed the gel on the visible reddened skin on Kara’s hand. “How do you feel?” She looked up.

 

Kara’s eyes held the gaze for a moment too long before blinking and aiming at her own hand. “Yes, that’s a lot better. Thank you.”

 

Lena gave her an understanding smile, “I know you’re clumsy but not this bad.”

 

Kara’s cheeks brightened. “I’m not clumsy.”

 

“Uh huh. You also didn’t trip over your own collection shoes when you went out to shop a few days ago.” Lena smirked as she recalled. Kara had clearly bumped her head at the door but she still grinned up at Lena like it was nothing.

 

The blonde’s blush grew to her ears. “I should continue with the laundry.”

 

Lena pressed on Kara’s shoulders, making her stay on the chair. “I don’t want to risk you burning yourself anymore. I’ll do it.”

 

“But…,” Kara protested, “Aren’t you tired from the exercise?”

 

Lena shrugged, “I can handle it. And I too have a basket of shirts to iron. Just sit there and rest your hand, Clumsy.”

 

In the corner of her eyes, Lena saw that the blonde’s cheeks got even redder than the burn and she assumed that Kara was just too embarrassed to oppose. Messy Kara and now Clumsy Kara, but Lena wasn’t bothered at all.

 

It was rather cute.

 

___________

 

**_(week 23)_ **

 

Kara pushed the door open with a gleeful grin on her face. She had dropped by the handmade market today on her way back and she didn’t come home empty handed.

 

Lena wasn’t home yet, it seemed. Kara had told Lena that she would make dinner for the both of them through a text on her way home. She knew that Lena had to stay back for a meeting because the brunette had told her about it last night so she planned on doing something for Lena.

 

As a very good roommate.

 

Not someone who was secretly into Lena.

 

Okay, maybe she was a little into Lena, but that was it. The little fluttering feel in her stomach every time she saw Lena coming back to the apartment was only the beginning of a crush. It wasn’t even a full crush. More like a sizzle.

 

Kara set the ingredients down in the kitchen and put the thing she bought on Lena’s bed. Smiling as she thought about how Lena would react to it, Kara changed into sweatshirt and sweatpants then prepared the dinner.

 

Her eyes dropped down to the burnt spot on her left hand when she was chopping the tomatoes and a grin spread on her lips.

 

It was so embarrassing for getting burnt just because her mind was wandering around Lena and the quick glimpse of her stomach when she jumped. Lena never knew that, of course, and Kara was glad that she didn’t. Being caught to be a complete disorganized person was horrible enough, being caught for having a little sizzle for someone who clearly had no intention to like her back would be worse.

 

Lena had started calling Kara ‘Clumsy’ occasionally from that day on. She shouldn’t look too deep into it, but she couldn’t help having the sizzle in her guts whenever she heard it.

 

Just like when she heard the door open, Kara turned to it with a floating sensation in her stomach.

 

“Hey,” she greeted the tired brunette.

 

“Hi.” Lena didn’t take off her shoes just yet, closing her eyes and taking a sniff. “Wow, that smells _good_! You’re a lifesaver, Kara.”

 

Hiding the pride creeping into her mouth, Kara shrugged casually. “Well, you know what to do next. Everything would be ready when you join me at the dinner.”

 

Lena made a dramatic bow, pretending like she was spreading a dress, “Thank you for the invitation, milady. I’ll be right back.”

 

Kara’s eyes lingers on when Lena took off the jacket and hung it on the rack. She didn’t know why she kept looking at Lena like she hadn’t seen the roommate for years. Did Lena get prettier everyday?

 

“What is this?” Lena asked right away when she spotted the bag on the bed. Kara was waiting for it.

 

“Um, it’s something for you. I got it from a market,” Kara tried not to look like she wanted to see how Lena reacted to the present and slowly turned to her.

 

Lena’s face lit up when she pulled the thing out. “Candles! I love candles.”

 

“I notice,” Kara said proudly.

 

“Oh, they’re scented candles,” Lena commented, “Thank you. That’s very nice.”

 

That one word made Kara’s smile widened uncontrollably but she hid it by turning back to the food. It also made her hum a funky song while setting the table. She replayed Lena’s surprised face in her head and was happy that she had gotten something Lena liked.

 

The dinner was great. Lena told Kara about her work and then asked Kara about her day. It was something they occasionally did - the shared dinner - but Kara didn’t mind at all. She felt at ease whenever she had a shared time with Lena. Lena even lit the candles Kara bought for her on the table. The smell of vanilla flew across the space, making the atmosphere a little softer and richer.

 

They washed the dishes together after that, as usual. Kara told Lena that she could go and rest but the brunette insisted on helping because _‘you cooked, let me clean up’_.

 

“Do you have any plan for Christmas?” Lena asked when they were about to finish.

 

“Not yet,” Kara shrugged, “My mom is going on a trip to Australia with her friends. My sister is going to her girlfriend’s family in Star City. I’ll just stay in National City. Why do you ask?”

 

Lena smiled, “I’m going to host my birthday party with my friends at our apartment, so if you don’t have any plan yet, you’re welcomed to join us.”

 

Kara felt her heart beating faster. “Is that okay? Wouldn’t they be bothered by my presence?”

 

“Why would they? You’re my roommate,” Lena laughed, drying her hand with the towel. “They would love to meet you.”

 

The mere thought of meeting Lena’s friends already made Kara a little nervous. She was still finding the way to deal with her hopeless sizzles around Lena, and now she would have to hide them deeper.

 

______________

 

**_(week 38)_ **

 

Lena stretched and stirred in bed. The morning had come for a while but she always refused to get up. The good thing about working at Teschmacher Corp was that she didn’t have to wake up too soon to get to work, but in exchange of that, she had to stay back longer.

 

Looking to the other bed in the room, she smiled. Kara had already left home to go to work. The blanket was folded and the bed sheet was pulled straight. The pillow with the Pikachu on it was put by the wall. Lena had noticed that Kara kept her side of the room pretty clean lately. There were still stuff here and there but overall, Lena didn’t have any complaint.

 

Maybe she had gotten used to Kara’s presence around the apartment.

 

At first, everything about Kara annoyed her. From her colorful clothes to the way she sang all the time, especially when she was cooking. Having a roommate was a lot more than Lena had expected, and no doubt that she had given Kara a hard time too. But that was before. Lena realized that she was being too tough on Kara and that her complaint on Kara’s cooking timetable was overstepping a line.

 

The way Kara committed wholeheartedly to the list was something quite endearing. As soon as Lena violated a rule, Kara noticed it immediately. The jar they had put as the punishment slowly got filled up with changes. Soon enough they would have to find another jar.

 

Lena walked out of the bathroom, feeling hotter than usual. She walked past the bed to get her phone and spotted the nearly burnt out candle in her cup.

 

Last night, she had finally used up the last candle in the pack that Kara had given her. When she found out that Kara had gotten scented candles, which were something Lena would never get, she didn’t have the heart to tell Kara about it. Her roommate was smiling so brightly and her intention was so genuine that Lena got reminded of when they first met.

 

Lena had to admit, it was one of the things that convinced Lena to sign the deal with Kara. Kara might be an annoying dork at times, but she was quite lovely too. Maybe if you lived with someone long enough, you would eventually find the nice things about them.

 

A lot of nice things, actually.

 

Lena couldn’t say that she didn’t notice the way Kara looked at her sometimes. When they sat at the dinner table, or when they sat on the couch and watched Netflix together, there was a calming aura around Kara that Lena secretly enjoyed. They talked a lot during the dinner time, about their days and how their plans were. The way Kara’s eyes held focus on whatever Lena said, even if it was the most uncommon theme to chat in dinner in the world like stock exchange and numbers but Kara never seemed to lose her interest. It was genuine. Lena would know it if it wasn’t. The fact that Kara had this _face_ on whenever Lena started going on and on about her day made Lena both glad and nervous at the same time. She didn’t know how or why, but it gave her a feeling that her roommate was…

 

“...crushing on you.”

 

Lena spat out her tea when she heard her friend’s conclusion after a long while of details and speculations. Imra laughed out loud, setting down her own drink on the coffee table and grinned from ear to ear.

 

“She isn’t crushing on me,” Lena disagreed while she was dabbing the napkin on the sleeve of her jacket.

 

“Well, how do you explain the constant gifts she’s been giving you?” Imra raised an eyebrow with glee.

 

“She’s just someone who loves giving gifts.” Lena’s reply was lame, she knew, but for the moment, she couldn’t think of anything else just yet. The thought of Kara crushing on her surprised Lena in a weird way that made her heart beat just a little faster.

 

“Right,” Imra dragged out the word, “She bought you candles, then a new umbrella which she brought to Teschmacher Corp when you mentioned in a text that your bus had passed. She works for CatCo. It’s all the way on the other side of the city, Lena!” Her friend tilted her head with a knowing smirk on the lips. “I bet she _loves_ to drive you with her car but she doesn’t dare to ask you just yet.”

 

Lena fought the urge to roll her eyes because whether she wanted it or not, she slowly saw the sense in Imra’s words. “Kara is just being kind. She’s putting a lot of effort in to stay tidy and friendly in our apartment. That’s just it.”

 

Imra snickered and then let out an ‘uh huh’ with a hint that she would keep digging this up in the next opportunity.

 

Imra’s words stuck in Lena’s head until that night. Kara texted her that she would come home late but would not miss their Netflix night. The blonde also sent her an update selfie. Lena grinned at the pout Kara was having on with the background of the meeting room. It was already 4 p.m, which meant that Kara’s stomach was probably growling.

 

Lena wasn’t hungry just yet, but then she looked at the fridge, where she could see Kara’s colorful stickers with loads of memos on them. Kara was a forgetful person, so it wasn’t odd that she needed this many stickers. There were memo about shopping plans, dry-cleaning pick ups, article deadlines, and some other scribbles that Lena had no idea what they meant.

 

The one memo that caught Lena’s attention was the little one on the right corner of the fridge. _‘4pm. Pick up.’_ was written on it. Lena assumed it meant that Kara had a delivery and she didn’t want her roommate to forget about it so she pulled the sticker off and stuck on top of the others. That way, Kara wouldn’t miss it.

 

Lena rarely cooked for herself, but when she wanted to, she still could cook for others. And she wanted Kara to come back to a warm dinner like Kara had done for her in the past few months. That was the reason Lena put on the apron and opened the fridge to come up with a dish.

 

_______________

 

**_(week 40)_ **

 

Kara opened her eyes when she heard the panting. As a habit, she reached for the phone and checked the time. It was only 3:18 in the morning.

 

Putting back the phone on the counter next to her pillow, Kara turned to the source of the sound and even in the dark, she could tell that Lena was not sleeping. The soundless breathing had been replaced with a rapid one, which was odd.

 

“Lena?” she asked softly, “are you okay?”

 

After a dry throat clearing echo, Lena’s answer approached, “I’m fine.”

 

Kara set her feet on the ground, getting ready to leave the bed. “Did you have a bad dream?”

 

“It’s nothing. Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.”

 

Kara walked to Lena’s bed, which was the darker side of the room. She crouched down right next to the edge and observed the brunette. It was always colder on Lena’s side so it didn’t surprise Kara when she set her hand on the cool mattress. “It’s okay. How are you feeling?”

 

Lena hesitated to answer at first, so Kara held still. It was fine if Lena didn’t tell her, but she would stay close to Lena because everyone tended to feel unsafe after a nightmare. It was the first time Kara had ever witnessed Lena having a bad dream like this. An overall feeling wrapped around her hands, urging her to hold Lena’s shivering ones.

 

“A little shaking. But I’m fine.”

 

“How is your heart?” Kara extended her hands a little and rested a finger on Lena’s hand. The gesture surely surprised Lena and Kara almost regretted it but then Lena smiled. Kara had to gulp hard because if Lena was pretty in the day, she was more alluring at night.

 

“It’s still beating fast. It was a bit scary,” Lena admitted.

 

Following her instinct, Kara tilted her head, “Can I sit on your bed until you fall asleep again?”

 

“That’s fine. You don’t have to do anything for me.”

 

“Shut up,” Kara jokingly scolded, “My sister Alex sometime had nightmares back in highschool, too. I always consoled her. Trust me, I know what I’m doing.” She climbed on the bed, being careful not to sit too close to Lena. “Now, lay down and turn your face to me.”

 

Lena did exactly that. “What’s next?”

 

“I will rub your back.” Kara paused a little after saying that. “I-If that’s okay with you.”

 

Lena smiled gently, “I’d love that.”

 

Kara placed her hand on Lena’s back and slowly painted a circle. She darted her eyes at Lena and found that the brunette was staring up at her. “Is that good?”

 

“Very,” Lena answered, closing her eyes. “Thank you.”

 

Kara felt her heard drop and then float back up when she realized it was no longer a sizzle inside her guts when it came to Lena.

 

That night, Kara had spent most of the night making sure Lena had someone around whenever she needed. If it meant sleeping in an awkward position for a while before ending up lying on Lena’s bed as well, Kara accepted that too.

 

Kara returned to her own bed at around 5 a.m. to get ready for work. Still, it took her almost a full minute to pull her hand away from Lena’s grip. She had no idea since when they started holding hands in the night but it didn’t matter anymore.

 

She was in deep.

 

___________

 

**_(week 47)_ **

 

Kara had been yawning for the past half an hour. Her stomach was empty and her legs were sore because of the walking but most of all, her shoulders were about to fall off. She even had to take a moment to breathe in the driver’s seat so she wouldn’t shout. Snapper Carr really wanted to torture her.

 

The long day had passed, now was the time for her to take a rest.

 

That meant seeing Lena.

 

Kara admitted, she _did_ have feelings for Lena. But so what? It wasn’t like there would be a thing between them ever. Their newly built friendship was still fresh and fragile, at least that was how Kara saw it. She didn’t even know if Lena was available.

 

Still, it didn’t hurt to like Lena a little more than she should. Kara could blame all of their moments inside the apartment, including playing games and watching Netflix together when it rained outside, but the truth was that Kara didn’t mind spending time with Lena. She even wanted the rainy nights to happen so that Lena wouldn’t leave the apartment.

 

Did her heart ache a little when Lena got a phone call and immediately got changed to go out and cancelled their Netflix night with an apologetic smile? Sure.

 

Did it feel like being stabbed when Lena said she would sleep at her friend’s and the friend who picked her up was a gorgeous tall brunette with a friendly voice and a very attractive smile? Hell yeah.

 

Kara still remembered that.

 

***

 

_“Hello,” Kara greeted with the surprise in her voice at the strange woman who was standing outside of the door with a pair of sunglasses on her head. “Who are you?”_

 

_The woman flashed a grin. “Hi, I’m looking for Lena.”_

 

_Kara heard the intimate tone in the way the woman said Lena’s name and she didn’t like that. “Are you her friend?”_

 

_“I am. Are you her roommate?”_

 

_Kara felt like she just lost a competition. She wanted to say she was Lena’s friend too but that seemed like a reach. “Yes. Lena’s in the shower. Do you need anything?”_

 

_“I’m here to pick her up,” the tall brunette answered with a less gleeful grin. “Can I come in?” The smile disappeared._

 

_Kara gulped, stepping aside. “Sure.”_

 

_As the woman walked in, Kara caught the scent of the perfume on her shoulder and the way her silky hair dripped flawlessly on her shoulders. A moment of self-conscious hit Kara. She had just gotten back from the jog that she had forced herself to do for weeks but gave up because of the rain. Kara smelled like a wet dog and her hair was all over the place. When she came back, Lena had already been in the shower so she had to wait. And now a random gorgeous friend showed up to pick Lena up. For what?_

 

_A date?_

 

_Kara frowned at the idea and did her best not to hold it. She kept a proper distance from the woman and walked into the kitchen, trying to appear friendly. “Do you want anything to drink?”_

 

_The woman stood idly next to Lena’s bookshelf with the newly-found hesitance. She leaned against the shelf, holding the bag with her fidgeting fingers. “No, thank you.”_

 

 _The awkwardness tried to approached but Kara refused to let it in by turning away and stepped to the coffee machine. She didn’t want to drink coffee right now, but it was better than just standing around and noticing how pretty the_ **_friend_ ** _Lena was going to go out with tonight._

 

_Oh, how she hated insecurities._

 

_“How long have you been Lena’s roommate?”_

 

_Kara turned around when she heard the question. The other woman was looking at her with a shy smile. “Half a year,” Kara answered, picking up the signal to ask back, “and you? How long have you been Lena’s friend?”_

 

_“We met two months ago.”_

 

_That was a weird way to answer the question. Usually, friends would answer with the whole period of time, not with the point in history when they met for the first time. Kara’s investigative mind began to work, and she didn’t like the possible conclusion._

 

_“Lena is a great person,” Kara said truthfully, her hand subconsciously touched the spot where she used to be burned._

 

_“Yes, she is. The greatest person I’ve ever met.”_

 

_Kara’s hand paused, she looked at the fridge, where her sticky notes were, and sighed. She decided to keep quiet and continue making the coffee that she didn’t even want._

 

_The bathroom door opened, revealing a freshly showered Lena in a dark green buttons up and jeans. Kara hid her gouging eyes away from the attractive roommate and looked down on the cup that was being filled with caffeine._

 

_“Hey, sorry for making you wait,” Lena said apologetically._

 

_“It’s fine. Your roommate let me in,” answered the friend._

 

_In the corner of her eyes, Kara caught a glimpse of them hugging. The sting of the unreasonable jealousy burned at her throat, causing a lump to rise. She had lived here with Lena for months, but except a few handshakes and the exception of the nightmare incident, they had never had a physical contact before, despite dinners, movie nights, occasional game nights._

 

_Something dawned on Kara: she wasn’t even Lena’s friend._

 

_Fair enough._

 

_“Kara?” Lena’s voice rang much closer, startling Kara. Her roommate had approached her while she was lost in thoughts. “Is that okay?” The friend had already stood outside of the apartment._

 

_“What is okay?” Kara asked back, trying not to look at Lena._

 

_“Well, since I’m going to sleep at my friend’s tonight, our Netflix night has to be cancelled,” Lena apologetically said with a shy smile. “I’m sorry I haven’t told you beforehand.”_

 

_“It’s fine,” Kara put on a grin and turned to Lena._

 

_“Are you sure? I will make it up to you. Did you buy the snacks?”_

 

_Kara appreciated that Lena didn’t want to make her feel abandoned, but there was really not a way for that right now. “I didn’t. Just go. I’m fine. I have two articles to finish anyway.”_

 

_Lena sighed out a wider smile. “Okay then. I’m going now. We will have Netflix night again. I promise.” The brunette grabbed her jacket and rushed to the door. “I’ll see you again tomorrow!”_

 

_Kara held the frozen smile on. “Have fun. See you tomorrow.” She waved at Lena._

 

_The door closed._

 

_Kara’s hands dropped to the sides as she walked across the apartment, passing the shopping bag at the foot of her drawers with loads of snacks inside. The coffee cup wasn’t touched, being forgotten until it went cold._

 

_Kara stayed up until 3 a.m that night to made a small doll house to a tutorial on Youtube from cardboard. No article was on her deadline, but her heart was heavy just the same like it was waiting for something to happen._

 

***

 

That friend’s name was Samantha - or Sam for short - as Kara learned later on. Her appearance helped Kara confirm her feelings for Lena. Sadly, they only got deeper as the days go by. The same went for the scorching jealousy she felt whenever Sam showed up.

 

Not that Sam was an unpleasant person. No. She was in fact pretty great. She was tall, gorgeous, funny, kind, and friendly. She even bought presents for Kara sometimes, which was weird because they barely talked to each other more than a few semi-formal greetings every time she came to pick Lena up.

 

Kara could tell that Sam was into Lena too. She could also tell that Sam knew the same from Kara. The only person who had no idea was Lena. It was a fortunate and unfortunate thing at the same time.

 

But she shouldn’t think about that just yet. It was going to be movie night, where Kara got to spend time with Lena in the living room with a few lights on. Kara barely noticed the movies, but she used that time to actively enjoy being around Lena. Sometimes they even sat right next to each other, mostly because of Lena. The brunette usually sat closer to Kara after getting up to go to the bathroom. She did it so naturally and Kara always got nervous because of that.

 

Lena smelled really good. Her laugh was contagious and low. The warmth from her body told Kara’s senses about how it would be to touch her. It was killing Kara that she couldn’t move toward Lena, and she desired that very much.

 

Exactly like now, when she was sitting with Lena on the couch, watching a movie of Lena’s list. They were both in comfortable clothes, lying idly against the pillows with two blankets on them. Kara was already half-way through her bag of snack when suddenly Lena said something that made her almost choke.

 

“Sam confessed her feelings for me.”

 

The sweet and sour chip suddenly became bitter in Kara’s mouth. She snapped herself out of it and continued chewing to find herself a little time to react properly. “When?” was everything she managed.

 

“Last week,” Lena answered without turning to Kara.

 

“What did she say?” Kara swallowed.

 

“That she liked me and she wanted to date me.” The way Lena said it confused Kara. She couldn’t pick up any sign of excitement or something similar. Also nothing opposite. It was simply being told.

 

“How did you answer?” Kara asked for the dreadful upcoming event. She could practically feel her chest getting bloated up like something had exploded inside it. It hurt and as the same time numbing. Her mind was getting ready to see more of Sam, this time giggling and being all lovey dovey with Lena. _Great._

 

“I said I would think about it.” Lena turned to Kara finally with a slight frown of confusion.

 

Kara took a deep breath. It didn’t mean anything. Lena was thinking about it. Eventually she would agree. Sam was amazing, as much as she hated to admit that. “It was last week. Have you come down to an answer?”

 

Lena blinked her eyes a few times, smiling faintly. “Not yet.”

 

Kara held her words for a moment before asking about her own biggest fear, “Do you like Sam? As in do you have feelings for her?”

 

The smile disappeared from Lena’s face. “Yes.”

 

It hurt, but what could Kara do but hiding that awful pain inside? Of course, Lena liked Sam. The dagger from Lena’s word plunged deep into Kara’s chest, still she needed to be supportive. “What are you waiting for?”

 

The brunette held her gaze at Kara. “I don’t know.”

 

The surprise on Kara’s face was genuine. “Oh?” Kara tried not to make herself sound petty or jealous but _god,_ she was. “Sam is great, isn’t she?”

 

“Yeah, she is,” Lena trailed off.

 

“Have you found something you don’t like about her?” Kara got curious.

 

“No, I haven’t. Everything about her is amazing.” Lena blinked slowly as if it was something she told herself too.

 

“She’s the jackpot, right?” Kara’s chest twisted right after she said it, but the darkness helped her stay neutral.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then why not?”

 

“It’s complicated.” The blush on Lena’s cheeks softened her stoic face in a way that pained Kara but at the same time soothed her. Kara loved the happy look on Lena’s face. It glowed in her eyes.

 

“Sam is a great person. I know I haven’t talked to her much, but I have a feeling that she’s nice.” Kara had no idea which pained her more: wingwomaning for Sam or accepting the fact that Lena’s heart already belonged to someone else. “That’s just me. Trust your instinct.”

 

“I guess so.”

 

“Lucky her,” Kara said unironically. She felt jealous, and envious, but most of all, heartbroken.

 

Lena chuckled, “Why?”

 

“Why do you think?” Kara turned to the television. “You’re amazing.”

 

Speaking out something she always kept hidden, Kara felt self-conscious and leaned a bit further away from Lena. She glued her gaze at the screen, pretending like she hadn’t truly thought Lena was the best girl in the world.

 

“Really?” Lena’s voice got nearer. Kara did her best not to adjust herself when she sensed the closeness. “You think I’m amazing?”

 

“Yeah,” Kara shrugged as if it was casual. “I mean, you tolerate my mess. That’s pretty amazing.”

 

Lena arched an eyebrow in amusement, “I’m amazing because I tolerate you being a mess? Just that?”

 

“No.” _You’re kind and funny and beautiful. Your laugh warms me up like the fireplace. The way you run the fingers in your hair gives me all kinds of feelings. I will forget my bad day just by looking at your smile._ “You make delicious coffee even though you don’t drink any. That’s not just amazing, that’s awesome.” Kara heard her own heart began to race when she almost slipped out something she wouldn’t be able to excuse.

 

“Anything else?” Lena prompted with a smirk.

 

Feeling her face getting hotter, Kara decided to drop the subject. “There are more, definitely, but I can’t think of anything right now.”

 

“Why not?”

 

Why not? Kara repeated the question in her head. She had a few answers.

 

Because Lena was so close to her and Kara couldn’t think while her eyes glued to Lena’s lips?

 

Because she was biting her tongue so it wouldn’t swipe across her own lips?

 

Because she was still trying to be Lena’s friend despite being seen as nothing more than a roommate?

 

“Because I have to pee.”

 

Kara ran to the bathroom and locked the door as quickly as possible, one hand holding her chest. It felt nearly exploding with the ongoing moment, like a thousand years inside a second. It was happiness, to be that physically close to Lena, but also sorrow, knowing that Lena was being emotionally far away.

 

What else could she do but hoping these feelings would go away?

 

And when would they go?

 

Soon? Later? Never?

 

Kara’s nose stung a little as she swallowed the lump in defeat.

 

It took her a little long to dry off the frustrated tears but fortunately, Lena didn’t even notice or mention anything about what they just said again.

 

It was good. At least, Kara could focus on trying to get over Lena since tonight.

 

________________

 

**_(week 48)_ **

 

Kara nervously fiddled with the glass of red wine in her hand. The apartment was filled with Lena’s friends.

 

When Lena mentioned the number of her friends, Kara didn’t feel threatened. It wouldn’t make up to ten people, including her, which wouldn’t stress her out. She was always stressed around strangers.

 

She was even more stressed when these strangers kept on giving her a weird look. There was no solid way to describe it but it seemed like they wanted to talk to Kara, of which she feared.

 

Kara feared that her broken heart would be seen easily by the people who knew Lena the most.

 

Sam’s appearance among the friends didn’t help _at all_.

Lena never mentioned how she received Sam’s feelings after that one time she told Kara about it. She wanted to know and also didn’t want to.

 

So what if they started dating? Nothing changed.

 

“Hi. You’re Kara, right?” A friend of Lena approached Kara as she stepped into the kitchen. She was a pretty lady with a charming smile. All of Lena’s friends were beautiful, like it was a standard for an impossible crush.

 

“Yes,” Kara nodded, “You’re… Imra.”

 

“I am.” Imra leaned against the table where food was put on it, facing the group of people on the other side of the apartment. “So, what do you think about Lena?”

 

If Kara was drinking, she would have spat out the wine. Fortunately, she wasn’t, therefore she was able to hide the surprise bursting out. Laughing nervously, she replied with, “I’m sorry?”

 

“What do you think about Lena?” Imra threw a look at Kara. “As a roommate.”

 

Kara might have let out a foolish ‘ah’ before scooping up something smart to answer with. “She’s great. Everything’s great.”

 

“How long have you been living together?” Imra asked again, the eyes still followed Kara’s gaze.

 

“Um, almost a year now.” Kara gulped, pointing her eyes at Lena, who was laughing with her friends. Sam was standing next to her, smiling brightly. Her hand touched Lena’s back naturally, making it seemed like she had done it everyday. Kara tore her eyes from that and turned back to Imra. “Eleven months.”

 

“They seem cute, don’t they?”

 

Kara’s eyebrows went up higher. “What?”

 

Imra crouched a little closer to Kara to gossip, “Lena and Sam. Lena hasn’t told me anything just yet but they surely hang out _a lot_.”

 

“Oh, yeah...” Kara just wanted to disappeared behind the bathroom door and stay there for the rest of the night instead of standing here and listening to Lena’s friend gushing about Lena and Sam. Was watching them being so close every time Sam came to pick Lena up not awful enough for her? Why was the universe doing this to her?

 

“I have never seen anyone who could get along with Lena so easily like Sam,” Imra went on, giving Kara the knowing eye. “They met at Jess’ housewarming party and it just sparked!”

 

_Oh God… Just stab me. It’d be less suffering._

 

“Amazing,” Kara said through gritted teeth, but she hid it by sipping on the wine a bit too long.

 

“Have you noticed that too? You must have been here every time Sam came over, right?” Imra nudged Kara. Kara took a deep breath to calm herself. “I bet they’re all giggling and such. Sam is an adrenaline junkie, just like Lena. Heck, they even dislike eating the same food.”

 

Kara was on fire. She didn’t hate Imra, of course, but she hated what Imra was trying to say. Sam was perfect.

 

It painted the clearer picture for Kara’s miserable feelings. _Great._

 

Kara excused herself right away with a strained smile and tried to avoid conversations for the rest of the party. It was Lena’s day, after all. Kara shouldn’t feel sorry for herself. She could do that tomorrow or late at night on her own bed alone, but not right now.

 

Lena might not be with Sam at the moment, but soon she would be. Whoever had stolen Lena’s heart might have snatched the opportunity to become the luckiest bastard of the century.

 

And Kara should join the rank too, but only as the bastard with a the foolish heartbreak.

 

It was how it should be.

 

Still, her heart floated again when Lena opened the presents late that night and she saw the happiness on the brunette’s face. It was true that her heart was in pieces, but somehow it felt worth it because she got to see Lena’s smile.

 

_Damn it, I’m in deep shit._

 

“This is beautiful, Kara,” Lena gasped when she pulled Kara’s present out of the box. It made Kara blush because she had worked up a lot to find Lena the perfect birthday present. If she had zero chance to be with Lena, at least she could make a good friend. “I love it. Thank you so much!” Lena leaned over to hug Kara.

 

It took Kara by surprise, but she returned the gesture right away. They were sitting crossed-legs on the floor, surrounded by present boxes and wrappings. Lena opened Kara’s present after many others, but not after Sam’s. Kara tried not to pay attention to the ‘saving the best for last’ kind of thing because it was enough jealousy for a night.

 

“I saw it and I thought of you. They didn’t have it exactly like that so I ordered it customized.” Kara honestly explained how she laid eyes on the detailed and well-crafted candle holder in the shape of a wolf’s head.

 

Lena grinned widely, “It’s perfect.”

 

Kara chest burned as her lips stretched a little too much. “I thought so too.” _Like you._

 

The next and last present was Sam’s. Lena slowly opened it with care. She did that with every box of present. Cute.

 

“Oh…” Lena exclaimed softly, taking the present out. It was a magnificent necklace with a moon pendant twinkling at the end. “It’s gorgeous.”

 

Kara had thought about giving Lena a piece of jewelry, of course, but she knew Lena never wore any, except for the earrings. She also knew that Lena wouldn’t wear another pair of earrings because they belonged to her grandmother.

 

That didn’t make the jab in her chest feel less annoying when Lena observed the pendant with awe in her eyes. It made sense. Lena liked Sam, she would like everything Sam gave her.

 

Kara touched the burned mark on her hand again. She still remembered how it felt when Lena applied the gel on her skin. It was all she had, wasn’t it?

 

“Do you want me to put it on for you?” she offered.

 

Lena seemed surprised, “That’s fine. I don’t usually wear necklaces.”

 

“But it’s a gift from Sam, you would wear it,” Kara hid the ache with a tease.

 

Lena stared at Kara for a too long of a moment and her voice became stern, “Why do you think I would wear it?”

 

“It’s Sam’s.”

 

“Because it’s Sam’s?” Somehow Lena sounded irritated. Hmm, weird.

 

Kara nervously chuckled, quickly searching on Lena for any sign of a smile coming up. There was none. “Yes.” Lena still gave her the irritated look. “Aren’t you two a thing?”

 

A small frown was formed between Lena’s eyebrows. “Why would you think so?”

 

“Because…” The words suddenly went away in Kara’s mind. In front of her, Lena was mad. Kara couldn’t understand why Lena would be mad just because Kara said that Sam and her were a thing. “Well, you said she liked you and you liked her so I thought…”

 

“You thought wrong,” Lena said clearly, the frown deepened.

 

“I’m sorry for assuming,” Kara curled up her legs a little, regretting ever saying anything. She nibbled her lower lip in worry.

 

“Don’t assume. Next time, just ask me,” Lena put the necklace back into the box. “Directly.”

 

Kara took a deep breath, pulling a string of ribbon into her palm. She wanted to apologize again but it felt like a bad timing.

 

And they both stayed quiet for the rest of the night.

 

___________________________

 

**_(week 50)_ **

 

It got awkward between them after the party.

 

Kara tried her best to make it up to Lena, but the brunette didn’t seem so enthusiastic like before. Movie nights weren’t mentioned anymore, and they barely had dinner together much.

 

Lena spent nights at Sam’s more, and Kara did her best not to notice that. She wanted to know what they did together, so at least her jealousy was justified with an equal pain.Kara wouldn’t ask, of course, because her mind already filled the holes itself.

 

She had screwed up just by assuming Lena’s relationship status. To be honest, she couldn’t figure out why it made Lena so mad. She couldn’t ask either. Time just went by, day by day, and Kara had decided that she wouldn’t be able to be just a friend with Lena.

 

Fortunately, the universe did something.

 

She didn’t know it until late at night, when she heard the panting in the dark again.

 

Kara rushed to Lena’s bed and found that the brunette was gripping the blanket tightly as she laid unsettled on the mattress. She was still dreaming.

 

“Lena?” Kara called, carefully touching Lena’s shaking hand.

 

Lena whipped her head left and right a few times before bolting up into the sitting position. The breathing was hard and Kara immediately grabbed Lena’s hand as an instinct of protection. It startled Lena a little. “Kara? Why are you here?”

 

“I heard you and I came over to check,” Kara sat on the edge of the bed, “Did you have a nightmare again?”

 

“Yeah,” Lena nodded, her hand flipped over and gripped on Kara’s. “Sorry. It’s been a stressful day for me at work.”

 

“That’s fine. I can tell. You seemed tired when you got back home,” Kara tucked a strand of Lena’s ruffled hair behind her ear to see her face clearly. “You didn’t even eat dinner.”

 

Lena sighed and hugged her belly. “No wonder I dreamed of being eaten by a cow.”

 

Kara chuckled, then she rubbed Lena’s back slowly. “Do you want to eat right now? I can whip out something fast.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Spaghetti.” Kara tilted her head to give Lena an encouraging look. “I will eat with you too. Join me?”

 

“Okay.”

 

Kara felt alive as she strode towards the kitchen and turned on the lights. She had made spaghetti countless times so it only took her around half an hour to present two steamy plates on the dining table. Lena was already sitting down, eyeing the plate with excitement.

 

“For you, roommate.” Kara handed Lena a fork and a spoon after sitting down across the table. “Good appetite.”

 

“You too.”

 

Lena scooped up her first spin of spaghetti and didn’t hesitate to put it in her mouth. She hummed in satisfaction with close eyes, making Kara think about a food commercial. Kara grinned and started eating too. They ate in silence, and it didn’t take long to finish the late meal.

 

“Thank you,” Lena said at the end, after the dishes had been done by the both of them. “For everything.”

 

Kara got a little self-conscious at that and shrugged, “It’s nothing.” She sat down on the couch, handing the brunette a hot cup of black tea.

 

“It’s not nothing,” Lena continued, blowing air into the steam rising from the cup. “You didn’t have to cook me anything or even pay attention to me.”

 

“Of course, I have to pay attention to you,” Kara leaned into the pillow, just a little closer to Lena. She secretly enjoyed the scent of Lena’s shampoo mixed with the smell of the comforter on her clothes. It was a nice combination and Kara felt relaxed immediately.

 

“You don’t _have to_ ,” Lena argued with a playful eyeroll.

 

“I do.” The moment was strangely intimate and Kara’s heart beat faster. The courage came out of nowhere that seeped through her throat and out of her lips to form the few words that she was even afraid to admit it to herself a few months ago. “I care about you.”

 

Lena stared at her. The gaze was frozen right at Kara’s face for too long before Kara couldn’t feel her own cheeks and had to turn away. She hoped that Lena would say something, anything, to break the awkwardness that just fell upon them, but Lena just sat there.

 

Kara cleared her throat and moved away from Lena, trying to hide the embarrassment by making herself look busy. She couldn’t feel her hands anymore, they were numb. Her mind was blank, too. Her eyes got a little hotter and possibly wetter. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t cry in front of Lena.

 

She didn’t want pity.

 

But her arm was held back by a firm force, and she turned around. Lena was still looking at her with the surprise in her eyes. “You care about me?” Kara’s mouth couldn’t form a word, she nodded to answer. “How much?”

 

Kara half-wanted to chicken out and say something that would withdraw the impulsive words from before, but in that moment, somehow she didn’t want that. Kara wanted Lena to know.

 

She wanted Lena to know that it wasn’t an accident that Kara was always home when Lena came back from a night out. She wanted Lena to know that the presents might have carried bigger care than they should. She wanted Lena to know that her heart always had this funny dance whenever Lena smiled at her.

 

She wanted Lena to know her feelings.

 

“A lot,” Kara whispered as she gave Lena the most genuine look, “a whole _freaking_ lot.”

 

The brunette gulped, then she smiled. There it was, the smile that sent Kara a tornado in her guts. It made Kara smile too, though nervously. “I care about you too, Kara.”

 

The tears began to form in Kara’s eyes but she didn’t want to leave Lena’s side after hearing that. “Not the same.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Kara took a deep breath and decided just to go with it. “I like you, Lena. Really, _really_ like you. I don’t know how it started and I don’t really care. I know we had a rough beginning and I’m basically the most unattractive person to you but I can’t help it.” She paused, taking another deep breath. “I’m falling for you, the person who doesn’t hesitate to point out my flaws, correct me, show me concern instead of annoyance which you have every right to. I’m falling hard for you because I can’t tell since when I started looking forward to just seeing your shoes at the rack. My life, my world are now filled with your presence. It’s empty whenever you’re not around.” She paused again, checking Lena’s response. The brunette’s jaw dropped slightly. She still looked pretty darn cute, though. And surprised. And shocked. “I don’t know why I’m telling you that now. I’m sorry if that makes you uncomfortable.”

 

“Kara,” Lena spoke, gripping tightly on Kara’s arm. “I’m not uncomfortable. I’m listening to you. Anything you want to tell me, please do that right now.”

 

The request made Kara blush harder. She was waiting for a result, as in Lena turning her down and saying that she had no feelings for Kara, or the opposite, which would be awesome. Kara didn’t expect Lena asking her to say more about how she felt.

 

“Um…” Kara awkwardly hummed, fidgeting a little. “That’s pretty much it.”

 

Lena nodded. “That’s it, huh? You’re falling hard for me. That’s all.” A smile was forming on Lena’s lips. “That’s a tiny detail.”

 

The way Lena said it made Kara laugh. She burst out cackling to cover up the embarrassment and went along, “Yes. A pinch of salt.”

 

“Well then, I have a tiny detail to tell you about too,” Lena replied, sitting up straighter. “I think I knew it.”

 

_What…_

 

“You mean, you knew that I was falling for you?” Kara didn’t mean to raise her voice but she was surprised by what Lena told her. “How?”

 

“Gut feelings. I guess there were little signs littering day after day.” Lena grinned joyfully, like she really enjoyed finding that out. It gave Kara a light of hope. Maybe, just maybe, she had a chance.

 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Kara questioned with confusion.

 

“I was going to.” The smile on Lena’s lips faltered a little. “But then you told me how great Sam was and that you practically told me to date her, I thought I got it wrong.”

 

Kara inhaled sharply and recalled the moment when that talk was happening. And she reminded Lena the reason why she had to sound like she wanted Lena to be with Sam, “You just told me you liked Sam right after saying that she confessed her feelings for you. What else did you expect me to say in such situation? As far as I know, my feelings have always been one-sided.” _Even now._

 

Lena held Kara’s eyes, then she spoke the words that Kara never expected to hear. “They’re not one-sided.”

 

Kara’s eyes almost fell off the sockets. “What?”

 

“I like you, too.” The brunette’s face softened as soon as she said it. Her eyes averted a little away, as if she was shy. “I tried not to, but I still do.”

 

A dagger was sent from Lena’s words to Kara’s chest. She gulped down the knot of disappointment that was born right after an explosion of joy. Lena liked her, but she didn’t want to. “I don’t know how to respond to that,” she chuckled bitterly, wiping hair away from her face, “It’d be better if you just say you don’t like me at all.”

 

“No, it’s not like that.” Lena touched Kara’s shoulder, putting a firm hold on it. “I tried not to like you because I didn’t want to mess up what we had. The first few months were stressful between us but then everything got better, and I liked the friendship that we had. I didn’t want to assume, jump the gun and ruin it. I love spending time with you and if my feelings would ruin it, I can’t let that happen.”

 

“You like Sam too,” Kara muttered, trying to keep her mouth from making a pout.

 

“She’s an amazing girl. I was being honest with you about it. I didn’t want to lie.” Lena sighed, frowning slightly, “In that moment, I thought maybe you would react in a way that is telling enough and I would know how you really feel. So I told you the truth.”

 

Kara took in a deep breath to adjust with the given information. “Do you still like her?”

 

“As a friend, yes.”

 

“Did you tell her that?”

 

“I did.” Lena lowered her voice as she stared into Kara’s eyes with the intensity that darkened the green color. “I choose you.”

 

The corners of Kara’s mouth curved up with a force that she didn’t want to block. “Even when you think I don’t like you?”

 

“Yeah, even so.” Lena’s grin glowed up in the dark. “It’s not something I get to decide anyway. My heart made that choice for me.”

 

Kara’s face now split into a ball of happiness and she barely kept her smile normal anymore. “You’re an idiot,” she scooted over to sit closer to Lena, bringing both legs curling up onto the couch, “do you know that?”

 

“At least I’m still sneaky.” Lena rolled her eyes, biting her lower lip. “You weren’t being very subtitle, Clumsy.”

 

Kara gasped, “Excuse me, I’m excellent at being sneaky!”

 

“No way. Your eyes can’t fool me.” Lena arched an eyebrow challengingly. “Do you really think I wouldn’t notice the way you look at me whenever I’m back from jogging? And you, Couch Potato, voluntarily asking to join me on those jogging mornings?”

 

Kara felt hot on her face. “Okay, maybe I didn’t try hard enough.”

 

“You didn’t even try. I bet you got yourself burned that day because you were too busy looking at me rather than paying attention to ironing the clothes.”

 

_Busted._

 

Kara pouted, crossing her arms. “Well, if you were so sure about how I look at you, you should have said something. Or at least not glued with Sam at the hips whenever she comes over.”

 

Lena’s eyebrows raised. “I do _not_ glue with Sam at the hips.”

 

“Yeah, right. And Imra just magically thinks you and Sam are together.”

 

The brunette blinked a few times. “Imra? My friend, Imra? She _what_?”

 

“She told me at your birthday party. She said that you two just _sparked_ ever since you guys met.” Kara just repeated the words only but _damn_ , her chest already started being jabbed on. “Imra said you were cute with Sam. When your friend, someone who knows you well, already says stuff like that, why wouldn’t I think you and Sam are a thing?”

 

Lena closed her eyes and took in a long breath as if she was trying to zen herself. “I’m going to kill her.”

 

“Why?”

 

Lena exhaled and gave Kara an apologetic look. “She was trying to make you jealous.”

 

“Oh, she didn’t even need to try. I was jealous,” Kara chuckled dryly. “But why?”

 

“She was very sure that you had a crush on me and she wanted to prove it,” Lena said with gritted teeth. “I told her that you didn’t have a crush on me but she never believed that.”

 

“Well, she was right,” Kara grinned, taking Lena’s hand in hers. The warmth that she felt against her skin right now was what she had been dreaming of for months. “I have a massive crush on you.”

 

Lena’s furious face softened. Her fingers curled around to knit with Kara’s. “You were jealous?”

 

“Yes,” Kara admitted, “I got jealous every time I saw you and Sam together.”

 

“Then you hid it well,” Lena slowly let her head on Kara’s shoulder. “I truly thought you were rooting for me and her.”

 

Kara pulled the blanket up to cover both of them and leaned into the fluffy surface of the couch to hold Lena. It felt so natural, even if it was the first time Kara had Lena in her arms consciously like this. Lena fit right into Kara’s side like it was meant to be. Maybe Kara was looking too deep into it, but for her heart, it was a sign.

 

“Was that why you got mad when I said you and Sam were a thing?” Kara muttered into Lena’s hair. Gosh, she had been dreaming of doing this. It didn’t disappoint. Lena’s hair smelled like heaven.

 

“It was. I’m sorry about that. It was childish of me for being mad at you just because you didn’t know how I felt about you.” Lena snuggled her nose into Kara’s shirt. “You smell like spaghetti.”

 

Kara laughed. “I can get another shirt.”

 

“No. Don’t.” Lena smiled, pushing herself against Kara’s side firmer. “I don’t mind. I like you like this.”

 

“You like me when I smell of food?”

 

“I like you when you’re like you. All clumsy, lazy, messy but always full of genuine care and incredible patience. What, I know I wasn’t being the best roommate to you either in those first months.” Lena added the past part when Kara looked at her in surprise.

 

Kara grinned and closed the heavy eyelids. Having the amazing warmth of Lena’s body by her side made her feel sleepy. “Does this mean you’re going to expand our roommate contract?”

 

“I’m still considering.”

 

Chuckling, Kara held Lena tighter and drifted into sleep. Before the consciousness left her, she still got to wish Lena _good night_ and heard the brunette saying it back.

 

It was a Sunday.

 

And on Sundays, time flowed in a strange way.

**Author's Note:**

> It's my birthday, today :)


End file.
